More updates- blogging backwards, trying to keep track of happenings with my blog

We are actually doing ok. The hardest part right now is waiting until his next appointment, which is 1/27/07, to find out exactly how bad his hearing is and what is the next step. I am a planner and like to know where I am going and how I am getting there. The waiting and not knowing is hard for me. We really don't know much right now, other then the fact that he has signifigant hearing loss. Matthew and I have tried to equip ourselves with as much knowledge as possible and far as researching. It is sad at times for both us, but we also know that it is not the end of the world. I have my moments in the wee hours of the morning while nursing I look down at him and become sad because I wonder will he ever marry, will he ever hear my voice, how hard is it going to be for us to learn sign language, will Noah and Jacob's relationship be affected???? I also know that my kids are AMAZING and I know that they will adjust faster then we will!!! Lack of sleep and hormones play a huge factor in my sadness some days. Jacob is wonderful, he smells so good. He loves to look at his mamma. He is awake a lot more than Noah was and I love to just look into those beautiful eyes, I can stare at him forever. I am so blessed with nursing I love out time together.
Noah is doing wonderful with Jacob. He thinks that he is my baby and freaks out when anyone else holds him. He comes to me where ever I am and says mamma, baby... we go where ever and he points to Jacob and then to me as if to say take him back. It is too cute. He calms immediately when I take him back.
Hannah is my little gem!!! She is fabulous with both kids. I tell her everyday how blessed I am that God gave her to me first, I couldn't do it without her!!!
To hear this news was quite unsettling to say the least. I was blaming myself wondering if it was something I had done. Not knowing why this happened hurt, but we are adjusting well and acepting that there is no other option but to love him with all our hearts and move on. We are a very loving family and blessed even more because we have him. Thank you much for you encouraging words. I love you so much!!!